Comments on: A Prologue, to a Book I am writing. Tell me what you think.?

By: Rayne

Rayne — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 02:55:59 +0000

If you’re telling a story, narrarate, but not in a way that you actually say "this book will be about…" Books often require the reader to temporarily suspend their disbelief. By throwing in this statement, you take away from that. It makes it more of an introduction rather than a part of your story. What you want is a prologue, so try to begin with something like:

For hundreds of years Americans have marched off to war… From the American Revolution to the conflict today in Iraq and Afghanistan, everyone’s concept of war is different… And we have all been affected by it. My own experience began with the war in Vietnam…

And lead on from there. That’s just a suggestion, but you don’t have to take it.

You have excellent material, and will be a great author when you refine your skills [not that you're not now, we could just all stand for some improvement, huh? ] You’re doing a wonderful job and I’m already finding myself sucked into the story. Keep at it and good luck!
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By: Shelley

Shelley — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 02:45:59 +0000

I like the concept but it reads like a juniour high history project. If you're telling the story from your own experiences try to add more personality to it. Do lots of research if it is your story or you're telling it though the eyes of a child it's good to have lots of background to fill in the details.
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By: patticharron

patticharron — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 02:25:59 +0000

First of all, Michelle Obama is not the first to say that, so you would do well to do your research and find the real source of that quote. Keep in mind that neither of the Obamas says anything that isn’t from a prepared script and/or stolen from another source. Neither of them is that clever.

Yours is not a "prologue." It is more like a treatment. It is background and backstory, both of which should be told through the story, not before it. Additionally, it is instruction to the reader, which is completely unnecessary. Furthermore, the whole thing needs to be run through spell check and grammar check, then revised and edited.

In short you do not tell the reader "this story will be told from the perspective of a wife." Just tell the story. The identity of the narrator will be clear (or should be).

I think what you’ve done here is merely an exercise in clarifying your thoughts for the project. There’s nothing in it that needs to be shared.
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Writer/Editor

By: Melody

Melody — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 01:56:59 +0000

Good, except…

you’re telling us stuff instead of showing it to us. "This story will not be told from the perspective of a wife"…no. Readers aren’t idiots, they can figure that out.

Otherwise, it’s good.
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By: bookluva

bookluva — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 01:27:59 +0000

Cool. Might want to check your punctuation.
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Okay, you can read my answer…Now try a book!